As we close the chapter to yet another year, many of us do an evaluation of ourselves and reflect and take inventory on those things we saw as good and bad in our lives. Of course with that comes the resolutions to change; be it in our relationships, our health, our finances, our careers; its an endless pursuit for improvement; or is it?
I think if we take a look around the world and in our society, we can begin to see why so many of us fail when it comes to keeping those resolutions; why we fall short of achieving change that deep down in our core we so desperately want and need. Sadly the answer to that question is staring us in the mirror, if we’d only stop and look in it!
Most of us, myself included here, instinctively look outside ourselves for the cause of our misfortunes. If something is wrong in our lives, rather than look in the mirror; rather than look within ourselves to find the cause of our failures, heartaches and shortcomings, we almost unconsciously look outside ourselves to cast fault and blame. It’s as though we have a world full of people pointing fingers and all the while blame is being cast in all directions other than inwardly, nothing seems to be getting better in our world or in our lives.
Writing has become therapy for me. I do not write my blog from a perspective that I know everything; or that I have all the answers or that I am perfect. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. It’s a way of me sharing what I have learned through my mistakes. After writing now for a full year, sometimes more frequently than others, I have come to realize one thing about myself. More times than not, I need but look into the mirror to find the culprit to my life’s difficulties; as though self-sabotage has become a hobby of mine. How did I become this way? Is it because for my entire life I have fallen victim to blame? fingers constantly pointing at me? NO! For if this in fact is the truth, then I have no control over my life! This is but a lie being perpetrated on me and everyone else who looks at others to blame for where they are in life. The buck stops here!
If my health is failing, it’s not the restaurants I eat at nor the foods I buy; it’s not the companies polluting the air or the water; IT’S ME! If my marriage is struggling and on the brink of divorce, it’s not because I come from a broken home or grew up with a single parent; it’s not because my spouse has done me wrong or been unfaithful; it’s not because I feel betrayed or unloved; IT’S ME! If I find myself in financial ruin and in over my head, it’s not because my boss doesn’t pay me enough or give me enough hours; it’s not because my spouse and kids spend wastefully; it’s not because life is unfair; IT’S ME!
The fact is that every single issue occurring in the world today, whether it in our country or another; from world hunger, child slavery, poverty, political greed, education, declining morality and every evil sin and wrong bestowed upon other human beings; the list can go on forever; it is being done by someone; someone is at fault. Someone is responsible for these things! The plain truth requires no sides; the plain truth requires no democrat or republican; no black or white, red or yellow; the plain truth requires no Christian, Muslim, Hindu or Atheist; the truth requires no heterosexual, homosexual or transgender; the truth is not in division. Plainly put, IT’S ME!
My challenge to you in this new year is joining me in redirecting our thoughts from how others have wronged us to how we have harmed others and what can be done to change it. Redirecting our actions from those of retaliation to conscious actions of serving others; and by fixing the one person we have the ability of fixing, OURSELVES!
“Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye. (Matthew 7:1-5)
Make it a Blessed and Prosperous New Year!
Well said son..I’m so proud of you. I think you are so right..We all need to look in the mirror and made 2014 the best we can. God Bless you and your family.
WOW! Thanks mom! I know you always read my articles but first time to comment; guess I just needed to admit all my faults to catch your attention…lol…Love you too and always appreciate your love and support!
Salty article, Jeff! It is so tough to revolutionize how we behave. As you say, the truth is that the responsibility falls squarely on that guy or gal in the mirror. When that one is taken care of, look out! The dynamic action on our world is powerful when one has the ability to see clearly and act with the clear understanding that come with. It is just so rare! My hat is off to you for your honesty, ability to speak the hard truth even though many don’t want to hear it and to commit to making the most of that guy in the mirror.
The first and most important step is to stop avoiding, blaming and finding fault “out there.” Ironically, if we are willing to face what we see and really dig deep, what we discover is a transformed individual. The big change is from escape to engagement. The first step is a giant leap. Way to keep taking leaps my friend! Great post Jeff!